decisions

ok so i figure i need to make a few changes in order to become a better person (even though im pretty damn awesome right now) i know that i still have many faults. As the day that i am scheduled to leave is getting closer and closer i cant help but think i need to tie up all loose ends in California before i start a new life in New Orleans so i have something good to come home to instead if the bullshit i left after high school. i mean relationship wise im great we aint goin nowhere lol but its the friends part that kind of bothers me. Too much shit has happened of the past four years and although i have grown from every fucked up situation i think its time to put that shit in my rearview and keep it pushin. I know some realationship may never be salvaged and i am totally ok with that because those are the people i would rather not have in my life anyway but there are some that i cant help but think what if about you know? The only problem is i am not a forgiving person at all so that kinda leaves me caught between a rock in a hard place. either i let my guard down and make myself vulenerable giving them the chance to hurt me again or i continue to hold a grudge and let this shit wear me down? ughhhhhhhh decisions decsions.