Just thoughts

so i had a conversation earlier today that i never expected to have. its kind of wierd when someone confides in you and expects advice but its the same exact advice that you need. so its kind of like no matter how you tell them to go about the situation you look like a hypocrit because apparently your not taking your own advice if your having the same problem. Sometimes i wish i could erase my whole past like its so many things that i've done that i dont nessacarily regret but i know my life would be toatlly different if people knew about it. I never thought there would come a day when i would be remorseful but shit its here. How do you separate the person that you used to be from the person that you are now from the person that your going to be? how do you make yourself a better person without people telling you "your acting brand new"? ahhhhh this life shit get more confusing by the day but hey we have no other choice but to adapt to what is around us. crazy right?

decisions

ok so i figure i need to make a few changes in order to become a better person (even though im pretty damn awesome right now) i know that i still have many faults. As the day that i am scheduled to leave is getting closer and closer i cant help but think i need to tie up all loose ends in California before i start a new life in New Orleans so i have something good to come home to instead if the bullshit i left after high school. i mean relationship wise im great we aint goin nowhere lol but its the friends part that kind of bothers me. Too much shit has happened of the past four years and although i have grown from every fucked up situation i think its time to put that shit in my rearview and keep it pushin. I know some realationship may never be salvaged and i am totally ok with that because those are the people i would rather not have in my life anyway but there are some that i cant help but think what if about you know? The only problem is i am not a forgiving person at all so that kinda leaves me caught between a rock in a hard place. either i let my guard down and make myself vulenerable giving them the chance to hurt me again or i continue to hold a grudge and let this shit wear me down? ughhhhhhhh decisions decsions.

transparencies

Ever wondered what would happen if everyone was transparent?
if ethe things we are most insecure about
were exposed for the entire world to see?
if the things we wanted to keep buried deep within
had no choice but to surface?
would we still fall victim to conformities
or would the world finally admit
nobodys perfect
what if we had no choice
but to wear our hearts on our sleeves?
making the main component of our lives vulnerability
would we still walk around unable to believe
that we are worthy of being loved by another human being
if we were all transparent
where would it, what would it, how could it be?